Aha a subject we have all been waiting for. It’s been a minute since I delved into an awkwardly hot topic like this one but I am super excited to get the conversation rolling on this, especially since I’ve noticed a great number of my sweet readers have met their spouse online!
Dating, in and of itself, is pretty awkward. I mean you kind of have to put yourself out there, ultimately in hopes of finding a spouse. The stings of relationships can be terrifying at best, and earth shattering at worst. So why would we even succumb ourselves to this entire new realm of dating with all the unknowns, and dangers, of the internet. Well, because we’re millennials, we like instant gratification, and we like technology, so why not!
Online dating isn’t inherently bad. It’s not morally wrong and there isn’t any proof that “God frowns upon it”. So how are we, as Christians, supposed to approach this concept? Well, by seeking the Lord’s wisdom, of course!The online platforms give us new (and sometimes exciting) ways to explore our options in the dating poolClick To Tweet
I don’t think the matter is whether or not you should be finding a mate online. I think that the online platforms give us new (and sometimes exciting) ways to explore our options in the dating pool. It makes meeting people we never would have met otherwise possible.
When talking to singles, I found the most common theme regarding their singleness is that they just don’t easily find themselves in situations with other singles or “potentials”. It can be hard as each of your friends are getting married or in a relationship, if none of your coworkers are single, and you’re terrified of introducing yourself to a stranger, to meet someone new! Meeting and talking for a while online can create potential opportunities that otherwise might have been lost in the busyness of the world we live in today.Online Dating might not be so bad after all.Click To Tweet
As a wife of an innovative technology guy I feel like I’m generally prone to thinking about the benefits of technology rather than solely focusing on the hardships that go alongside it. It’s pretty obvious that most Christians tend to take a negative stance to online dating, and to be honest, I was in the same boat for a while. No, I didn’t meet my husband online. And no, I didn’t have a good experience with online dating. But I have friends who have met their spouse online and their marriages are great! So, that was enough for me to consider that online dating might not be so bad after all.Online Dating was superficial at best, and degrading at worstClick To Tweet
What I learned during my experience was that, many people are in a perpetual state of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) thinking that there must be something (or someone) better that they’re missing out on. I encountered guys who had one thing on the brain, and let me tell ya, that one thing wasn’t marriage. It was superficial at best, and degrading at worst. I spent countless hours making sure I only showcased my best photos, had a captivating bio, and clearly indicated my intentions hoping and praying that I would stand out among the many other profiles out there. These things added stress to the dating scene that I just didn’t need or want. But, that’s not to discount that it could definitely be beneficial to someone else.There’s a world of options at your fingertips and the temptation of sin lured by the internet is unreal.Click To Tweet
Online dating isn’t without it’s downfalls. It has made monogamy a concept much more difficult to believe in, cheating easier to do, and attention from your significant other is harder and harder to keep. Can you imagine if you were seeing someone and found out that they had their online dating profile still active? It’s almost as if your boyfriend is also dating 3-5 other girls and somehow managing to maintain all of those relationships. Online dating has made this possible. It’s also a common way that people have been found cheating. There’s a world of options at your fingertips and the temptation of sin lured by the internet is unreal.
So… now, how do we approach this as Christians?
Trust in the Lord
Proverbs 3:5 says to “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding”. We already know that Online Dating is a scary phenomenon, so it only makes sense that we shouldn’t try to tackle this world without the assistance of Jesus to guide us through it. If we remember to trust in him with our dating journey, yes, even our online one, then in Him we can do all things (Philippians 4:13).Do not be unequally yoked with unbelieversClick To Tweet
Date Another Christian
I really don’t want to be the one to tell you this but… evangel-dating is the exception, not the rule. Every once in a while you come across a story where a person you know met someone, brought them to church and watched the Lord move in their significant other’s lives and grow them as spiritual leaders. This is amazing and such an incredible testament to God’s power and grace! But the Lord tells us “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). He doesn’t say this simply to “narrow our dating pool”, but because he cares. The most successful marriages are those whom we share the same core beliefs with. It was part of His design for marriage.Bad company ruins good moralsClick To Tweet
Meet Their Friends
Studies have proven that we are generally the sum of the five people that we spend most of our time with. Because of this you will want to meet the five people that your potential partner spends most of their time with. If their five besties are not walking close with the Lord and regularly engage in sinful behavior, odds are that this person may be pretending to be someone they’re not simply to impress you. And if that’s not the case, they could be easily swayed back into that lifestyle. We’re reminded in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: “bad company ruins good morals”.It’s our responsibility to use discernment with who we’re spending our time with how how we’re spending it.Click To Tweet
Guard Your Heart
There’s a lot out there in the world, especially the online world that will tempt you into abandoning your purity. The most important thing to do when approaching dating (of any kind) is to “guard your heart, for everything else you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). It’s our responsibility to use discernment with who we’re spending our time with how how we’re spending it, so be mindful to guard your heart by being diligent in your prayer and reading of God’s word.
Okay, so that’s what I have to say about Online Dating. More importantly is what God says about it. He’s pretty clear about how He intends for relationships to be in His word. If you want to try dating online then I say go for it, just do your own research and make sure you approach with caution as well as intention. I pray that whoever is reading this finds some clarity in the dating season of life and that the Lord bring your spouse to you in the way that He has planned. I can’t wait to hear your stories!
If you have an online dating success story, I would love to hear from you! Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org!